I searched the depths of my soul, the expanses of my mind and observed the intricate workings of this vast physical space, trying to figure out why is it so easy for one human being to hurt another. Why do people lie? Why do we seek so desperately the validation of others? How can someone resort to chastising another in an attempt to buy approval, and an undeserving self-image? Is it that we quantify our worth on the basis of external perceptions of who we are? If so, then why is that we give this power to others?
I have learnt that no matter how many sacrifices you make towards the preservation of someone else’s happiness, you will ultimately fail, and be deduced to a life of blame and ridicule at the hands of the very one whom you placed above your own self.
When you willingly hold yourself accountable for someone’s happiness- when you try to protect him from every ounce of pain that the world throws his way, he no longer becomes responsible for the thinking that guides his emotions, and his actions that predates his treatment of you. How can you then blame him when he straddles the lines of respect? When you act out of complete discernment to hold yourself responsible for his wellbeing, his actions become irrelevant. When these actions prove to be harmful to your welfare, he does not acknowledge his autonomy in causing you pain. Your reaction then becomes his greatest battle cry- his justification of the problem. The issue no longer resides in his disrespectful choices, and rather, your expression of hurt is then used to validate his behavior to others- painting you as insecure, and him as a victim.
When someone is uncountable for his own actions, when he lies to save his image in the eyes of others, at the expense of someone who carried his burdens all along, he is indeed in search of himself. But he is not wrong, he is not cruel, nor is he to be blamed for the negative spiral of his own public aspersions, and contempt of someone who so willingly surrendered their comfort in exchange for mistrust, insecurities, and abuse beyond comprehension.
You cannot show somebody that he is a decent human being, worthy of unconditional love and respect. You cannot convince someone that he is capable of being the best version of himself, by showering him with insurmountable understanding and a flood of good thoughts, countless prayers and utmost faith. You cannot prove to someone that he is the light beyond this body, because that light can only be found within. The light is not found in temples, churches or mosques. It is not found by rigorously following prescribed rituals and acts of repentances. It is only found when you strip yourself bare of all the prevailing thoughts that occupy your busy mind. When you silence the mind, open the heart and commune with the divine energy that you have always been. In this state of communion, you cannot be shielded by your lies and masks of self-pity, which justifies your harmful actions towards others… This is when you truly know yourself, when you transcend fear and seek love.
Aspire to forgive those whom you may have allowed to tamper with your inner peace- bearing in mind, that although their lies may be louder than your truths, you must seek solace in your clear conscience, your brave spirit and your fierce heart. What people perceive you to be reflects their level of thought, and does not quantify your value as a human being. What people say about you, says so much more about them, than it does about you. This is because, a man can only meet you as deeply as he has met himself. A man can only respect you, as deeply as he respects himself. A man can only love you, as deeply as he knows himself to be the complete source of light and love which dwells within the souls of us all. You cannot offer your heart and soul on a silver platter, bounded by reverent commitment and inexplicable understanding, and expect that you should receive the same. If we truly knew ourselves, it would indeed be quite unnatural to hurt another. It only becomes normal to do so, when we see ourselves as separate from the divine being that we are.